2 weeks later,

& i've coughed up all that shit I put into my lungs. I haven't smoked since the 5th of January and it's about time I finally put my foot down and quit such habit.

I'm glad I quit, sometimes I worry that I quit (unknown to me) for Jon, or my family instead of myself. I feel like the chances of me smoking are still 50/50, but I don't want to disappoint Jon, & ofcourse myself. I think it'll be permanent... I pushing it. I don't crave it anymore, and I don't have time to think about wanting a cigarette since I focus all my energy and time on Jon, and school now. Which is a greatttt thing :)

I've been suffering from loss of sleep... I've gotten all my doctors to write me a prescription to 3 different sleeping pills, they all FAILED. Ambien, Ramelteon, you name it. I took the Ambien twice, and haven't taken it since those two times because the shit doesn't work. It's getting me very frustrated... I wake up in sweats and for the past week and a half I have been plagued with unusual, weird, confusing dreams. It's annoying... and it keeps me staring into a dark room four hours dead at night.

Oh well... my joints are doing better, I don't see my doctors till March... they're making me see a joint and muscle specialist. I have my doctors confused on why I'm so damn noisy when I walk, haha.

well it's tuesday evening & the snow has melted already...