I think it's a rather weird feeling that overcomes whenever I see my friends out drinking and going to parties, it's not that I criticize them, or put them down for drinking, I actually in some sense kind of become almost envious. Not exactly at the sense that I'm not drinking, but that the people I basically grew up with use drinking and partying to "bond" with one another... it's like, because I never partied with you or shared that ice cold beer with you, we hardly exchange words.
I realized not drinking, or going to parties have put me in a rather lonely state here in charlotte, if anything, possibly at any college I may attend I'll remain working, and school.
I don't understand why I get a little sad when I see 764 photos of people partying; it's not jealousy either. I'm not jealous that I don't party/drink as much as them, or that I'm not partying every night, or at all; it once again goes back to the whole idea how drinking and partying are such a social thing that I am lacking.
I have great sober friends, I have great friends in general... except three of them live two and a half hours away from me.
Don't rearrange what I've so clumsily put together; I don't miss drinking, or partying, I miss the social gathering. The attention.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
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I think i know what you mean :/ The last time I drank was new years eve at steff and rickys house and after that i decided just as decision to better myself that i'm not going to drink anymore . and i havent . but i too feel like ... like im not really a part of what i used to do with my friends. I dont even really go up to charlotte anymore because its not the same when everyone drinks and i just sit there and watch . and when i hear about the parties and see pictures i feel lonely as well. like you said, i dont miss drinking at all, i just miss the fun at those parties . i dno . i dno if thats what you even meant but thats what i got from it
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