Age and Rot.

I'm so tired of associating myself with people with no restraint, responsibilities, and common sense. I hate weed, and I'm beginning to hate any individual who obsessively indulges in it. I've lost a great deal of friends because of the shit. I've torn myself out of friendships because of it. As of right now, I'm really frustrated with Anessa... what happened? It's so selfish, and stupid. It's really hurting me, and I use to think about how dumb the live above the influence commercials were; but seriously, when you want no part or what your best friends doing, it starts to eat away at the bonds that held you strong.

It's not even the fact that I'm being a hypocrite or that I haven't tried it and have no room to talk, it turned out to be everything I thought it would be, dumb, and boring. But I'm not even trying to focus this blog to preach how bad weed is, but more so what its done to the people I used to love, and surround myself with.

It has never done anything positive for me.

Anessa is hanging with such a sketch crowd, I can't even be around her when she's not sober, it's a totally different person. She can't remember dates we plan to hang out, she thinks she can trust everyone but she can't. She knows I don't care for it, but I feel like she keeps pushing it, pushing that button till I bitch about it. I can't sit around and watch her smoke every fucking day, although my responsibility isn't to be her mom, I am her friend, and friends have responsibilities too.

You're probably asking yourself, monique loosen up, it's just weed. Yah, it's just weed. But when you're buying almost an ounce once a week, and an 8th every other day, I think there's a problem. I think it's a problem when you get so drunk and high that someone steals your cell phone in your own house. I think it's a problem when all of a sudden you're getting a drinking ticket, and then you go and drink the VERY next night and call me to pick your drunk ass up at 2-3 in the morning. I think it's a BIG problem when you start inviting people over who sell a hell of a lot more than just weed. I also think it's a problem when you can't even be sober for a few hours.

I'm fucking done. If you smoke weed, don't talk to me about it, don't brag, and don't do it near me. I don't ever want to meet you, it's quite pointless why you even exist. It's not cool, it's fucking stupid; and you're a fucking idiot if you let it consume your life. To let a PLANT eat at your wallet, your friends, your LIFE, is fucking pathetic. A fine example of worthless space and people, Fayetteville

Well, that fell flat on its face,

Another relationship down the draiinnn,
but you know what, everything around here is actually picking up pretty fast. My pretty busy life has kept a busy mind, that in return has kept a happy heart, well, happy :)

smudge

aks;lahj !!!!

Grape on a vine.

Hopefully, this will play out the way it should. I've been crying all day... and I just can't seem to stop. I feel like I'm punishing myself for no reason.

I know I still love Jon, or I wouldn't care... that's probably why I can't stop crying.